Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 7 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My “Secret Subject” is:
You wake up to find out you get to relive one year of your life. What year is it and do you do anything different?
It was submitted by: https://www.writersarahnolan.blogspot.com/
No question for me it would be 2010. That was undoubtedly the worst year in my life and also the year that I saw the most changes. Change isn’t easy under the best of circumstances, but this was certainly not the best of anything.
First off, I turned 40 ten days into 2010. That was a serious kick in the gut but nothing like what was to come for my family. Let me set the stage for you:
In July of 2009, I was in a serious car wreck. On my way to work one morning about 4:30 am I was traveling down the highway. A deer jumped over the center wall and landed in my windshield. Terrifying and painful. I walked away with injuries but I walked away.
In Nov of 2009, I was on my way to Camp Lejeune to welcome my son home from Afghanistan. He was coming home in one piece and I was going to be there. Three days before we were leaving I got bronchitis. I was still seeing the doctor for my neck, left arm and head. I was there for acupuncture which believes it or not was really helping me.
I went in for my appointment for both bronchitis and the a.p. I was given a steroid shot and as I was lying down with the a.p. needles in I started coughing and was going to vomit so I stretched to grab the garbage can. I’m not sure what happened but it felt as if I had a stroke. I couldn’t move and it was like lightning inside my brain.
I went home feeling sick and shaky but I was going to see my son. I filled the z-pack they had given me which is also steroids. I hopped in the car, my husband in my son’s truck that we had been keeping and headed toward his home base.
Halfway through I called my husband and we stopped for the night. This was also Thanksgiving weekend. I was up all night my arms and legs were in so much pain. In the meantime, I am still taking my z-pack. I made it to Camp Lejeune technically, but instead of waiting on the tarmac I was in a hotel room down the road withering in pain.
My son had to come to me and I couldn’t get out of bed the whole time. We left to come back home the next day because I was terrified of what was happening. This was actually Thanksgiving Day. I spent that night on my couch unable to do anything but sit still because the pain in my arms and legs was like rats inside eating away at my veins. My daughter sat beside me rubbing my hair.
The next morning I was going to see my doctor. I took my z-pack like I was supposed to and within 10 minutes I was projectile vomiting. I was home alone and I remember thinking (which is also the very last thing I remember) is thinking if I didn’t get out of this house they would find me dead.
The next thing I remember was coming to in my doctor’s exam room screaming in pain. I have no memory of getting in my car, no memory of driving the curvy mountain roads the 18 miles to the doctor’s office, no memory of getting out of my car and entering the building. The nurse who is also my best friend in the whole world found me sitting in a chair unconscious in the waiting room when she came out to get another patient.
It was determined that I had an allergic reaction to the steroids and the massive amounts I had been taking for those last few days. The lasting effects have been the hardest part. I’m shaky a lot of the time, therefore, I lose my balance often (hence the broken leg last year lol). I also can’t look over my left shoulder without getting dizzy (part of why I hadn’t driven until recently), I have terrible depth perception and I don’t know any other way to describe it or call it. I’m dumber now than I was before the accident. I have a harder time figuring things out than before especially math.
The rest of that year (actually the beginning of 2010), because my husband’s business had gone out of business and we lost our health insurance and my refusal to financially ruin us I got steadily worse with my family doc doing everything he could to help me. Long story made a little bit shorter I spent several weeks in the hospital most of them in the intensive care unit.
Threw this time my daughter graduated from high school, had a car wreck and flipped my car three times on her way home from work on a rainy night. Thank God, she was alright but it was terrifying for all involved. She also got married and I had small parts of any of it because of my health.
My son got married the same year, the same thing and when he came back from Afghanistan he was sent to Japan. Two hours after his plane landed in Japan it was hit by a giant Tsunami. He was okay but it took a while to find that out and the wait was devastating.
It was rough, beyond rough, but we survived it. My husband and I have been happily married for over 28 years, my kids are healthy and whole. My daughter is still happily married with twins that we adore and life is good. We live in an entirely different state, my husband has a great job with amazing health insurance and even though I’ll always have problems I feel better than I have in a long time.
There was a time in that period where I didn’t want to go on. I wanted it to end and I actively planned it. My dog saved my life one long scary night while my husband was working in a miserable job on the night shift. I figure if I can make it through the night I can make it through anything and you know what, so far I’ve been right. If I had gone ahead, just think of all I would have missed. I do every single day.
If you need help find help and don’t stop until you do, please.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION 1-800-273-8255
By the way, today is my 50th birthday!
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Spatulas on Parade https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
Southern Belle Charm https://www.southernbellecharm.com
Part-time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/
Sarah Nolan https://www.writersarahnolan.blogspot.com/