If things had turned out the way I had planned in just a couple of days hubby and I would be headed out on our trip of a lifetime. A month-long trek to Alaska and all points in between. We planned and we planned. We mapped and mapped and it was all for naught.
The Canadian borders won’t open up until likely July or later. It’s heartbreaking. Every single time I have planned this trip something has happened to keep us from going. So, once again…maybe next year. Still, we have 35 vacation days staring at us, a pandemic hopefully on its way out, and a desire to keep as far from human contact as possible.
I’ve been isolated in my home for so long it’s a scary idea to step out into the great unknown. We’re set to self-contain in our car with as few trips as possible out in public. We’ll also self-quarantine for 14 days when we get home.
That gives us 24 days (we ended up with three extra days due to Memorial Day!)Our hope is to drive to a couple of the National Parks, trying some back-country camping. Something we were always going to try “someday”.
Our tent in some places, our car air mattress in others. Trying out some of the nation’s best hiking trails.
Just two people who are excited to spend some time together away from technology, away from work, but most importantly without walls.
I’m a claustrophobic homebody hence my adult antidepressant journey.
Sometimes I dig myself a whole and I vanish when things get to be too much. Which I’ve been doing.
Sometimes though I need a giant open space where I can feel so small that I can hide out in the open.
I’ll go until I fill up some of the emptiness I feel these days. This overwhelming anxiety leaves a hollowed-out knawing that almost feels like hunger the kind you don’t get from skipping a meal, but the kind you feel when there’s never enough.
My husband craves my undivided attention and as he’s often put on the back burner for things that aren’t nearly as important as he is I want to give it to him. For more than an hour or a day or even a week.
We’ve decided to leave on Monday (the day before this comes out). We’ll hit the road early when the suns coming up and we’ll chase it until it disappears on the other side.
I hope you’re interested in hearing about our journey. We’ll call it an experiment in isolation. Sheltering in place in a moving vehicle? We’ll see. I want to see mountains and creeks, lakes and meadows. I body craves it like air.
I want to watch the sun come up and watch it set sitting beside the man who has been beside me for the last 29 years). I want to see the stars away from the city lights. I want to watch a deer run through the woods.
I’ll keep you posted here weekly and if you follow me on Instagram you won’t be disappointed. I’ve filled my meds, packed my bags. First stop. Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado. Until next week, stay safe & wear a mask!
I want to leave you with this quote from Saoirse Kennedy before she committed suicide:
too often it feels as if I’m drowning in my own thoughts, while everyone else seems to be breathing comfortably
**This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase any of the products above I will earn a small commission that will in no way affect your pricing.