Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 7 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My “Secret Subject” is:
What’s the best pet (doesn’t matter what kind) you’ve ever had? Why?
It was submitted by: https://www.southernbellecharm.com
Hands down it would be my Jack. Jack McDaniel was his full name but he was hit by a truck in the summer of 2010. It was heartbreaking and our whole family grieved for him, still do at times.
You see, Jack was a big deal. He was my dog. My very first dog because I have always been afraid of dogs. It all started when I was three years old playing in my yard with my mom. The phone rang so she ran in to answer it and left me in the yard. A few minutes later she came back out and a German Sheperd had me pinned down and I was screaming.
I have no memory of this, but subconsciously I have always been afraid especially black dogs or of course German Sheperd. Don’t get me wrong I had been around dogs before. I had four brothers who always had dogs, my husband had a dog, the kids had dogs, but me never…until.
It was Jan 28th (don’t ask me how I remember that), the kids were in school it was cold and the wind was howling. Patrick & I were at our local Walmart getting some things sans kids. On the way to the door, there was a man with a shopping cart with three puppies in it and it said free to a good home.
I automatically looked in the cart (cute puppies) and my eyes locked on one in particular. He sat there with eyes as green as a springtime alfalfa field and a coat the color of rich caramel sauce and he had no tail. I petted the cute puppy and kept walking into the store.
We were back by the milk when I said, “Hon, I want that dog. I know don’t ask but that dog is mine.”
Of course, my husband being a dog lover immediately turned around to find the man with my puppy in his shopping cart. In the meantime, I rushed through the store getting what I needed so I could get back outside. As I was checking out hubby came walking back in.
“He’s gone,” he said to me.
“What?!? Nooooooooo,” I wailed because somehow I had already created a bond with this dog I had officially never met.
“The manager told him that he had to leave,” hubby informed and I gave glaring looks at the manager on the way out the door. It was so cold and the man had been standing inside the entrance. We put our groceries in the car and my heart was heavy. I felt that I had missed the opportunity of a lifetime.
We head home with our groceries and Patrick needs to stop in the gas station. He pulls into a spot and enters the store and then immediately walked back out heading straight for me in the car.
“He’s here!” he said.
I admit I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t understand at first.
“The man with the puppies is here!”
I jumped out of the car and ran to the entrance and picked up my jack. I held this puppy, I fed him, walked him, and even slept with him and we built a bond that most people wouldn’t understand. When I became ill at the end of 2009 there were several months where I was basically bedridden, only getting up when I had to use the restroom which wasn’t often.
My husband had lost his business (this was in the middle of the recession) of 17 years and had to take a job working 3rd shift painting signs on an assembly line for $9 an hour with no insurance. This is Kentucky, there are no great options and at this time there were hardly any jobs. It was an awful time.
I couldn’t get the medical answers I needed because our health insurance was gone, I was a temp through the post office so no health insurance there either and after Nov 2009 I wasn’t able to work again. The depression was horrible. I was useless.
The nights were the worst. Those long nights of being home alone and in excruciating pain. I had to go to the restroom and tried to get up and fell to the ground. My legs wouldn’t work. I tried and tried and couldn’t get up. I sat there crying and as I sat on that cold floor I looked over and saw the shotgun that my husband kept next to the bed.
I stared at it for a while thinking about how much I was taking from my family and how I couldn’t give them anything. I reached for the shotgun. I sat there sobbing, with snot running down my nose and hiccuping. I’m holding that gun in my hand and I’m shaking.
All of a sudden Jack jumped off of the bed into my lap (all 60 lbs of him) putting himself between me and that shotgun. He started barking and licking my face. I put my arms around his neck and sobbed. I don’t know how long I sat there, but somehow with Jack’s help, I was able to get off of that floor. He literally let me lean on him and I was able to get to the bed.
The next day, I told my husband, my doctor, that I was afraid. That I was afraid that it would happen again. You have to understand my husband needs to be my hero. He needs to be my Superman. I crushed him that night, which only made my depression worse. I think at the time I was letting myself get sicker as a chicken shit way of committing suicide.
My doctor put me on the anti-depressants that I still take today. Am I depression free? Nobody ever really is, but I have to tools and the medical and financial means to deal with it. When I finally agreed to go to the ER at 9 am the next morning they said I would have been dead by the end of the day.
I had been bleeding internally for months which threw me so out of whack that my immune system started attacking my white blood cells until they were nonexistent. I had several blood transfusions, spent 3 weeks in intensive care and another 3 weeks in a regular room.
A few weeks later my daughter was letting Jack out to use the bathroom and he was a famous runner. A truck came barreling down the road pulling a wagon filled with tobacco headed for the barn. Jack took off to chase the truck and ran right into it. I wasn’t there when it happened but I finally understood that losing a family pet was losing a member of our family.
Things have completely turned around these days and even though these days my anxiety is a little shaky I am good. I have a happy life with a wonderful man and every now and again I say a prayer for the tail-ess dog who was there when I needed him the most. I still miss him today.
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com
Spatulas on Parade https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com
Southern Belle Charm https://www.southernbellecharm.com
Part-time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch